Who Am I?
by minerva0202
Summary: Clary has been sent to an lowkey Art school in New York, far away from her mother in London. There she meet's the feisty but lovely Isabelle, her brother Alec, the nerdy Simon and the mysterious Jace. But why did Jocelyn send Clary away? What are Isabelle, Alec and Jace hiding?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 _ **Clary's POV**_

„Clary, you are going to miss your flight if you don't hurry up!", I hear my mum yelling from the kitchen downstairs. I know I should hurry up finishing packing all my stuff, but I just ain't ready to go…yet. My mum had this brilliant idea a couple of months ago, she had been scrolling down her facebook feed on the computer when she saw this advertisement for a Art School in New York –or so she told me-, and she came running to me and told me that she was going to send me to this art school. I don't know why she is so eager to get rid of me, but perhaps she just wants the best for me. I can't deny that I am a little bit excited to go somewhere new and meet other people, but I will also miss my mum and my little house that I call home.

When I come downstairs I see that mum is crying, but not in a bad way I think. „Oh, I am just going to miss you so bad my little angel" she says and wipes away the tears. „I will miss you too mum, you know that" I say and hug her tight. She looks at the clock, this ugly old clock that hangs on the wall above the stove, and says „your flight leaves in two hours, I think it's time to go honey". I hug her even tighter and then I step away, „well then, let's go! New York waits for no one".

When we arrive at the airport I suddenly feel a bit scared, I have never left my mother for such a long time. Well except for this one time when I went to summer camp when I was 12, but that was in the same country and just a couple of miles out of town. Now I am leaving her alone here in London while I go alone to New York, the city that never sleeps. When I have checked in I know it is time to say goodbye. I look her in the eyes and immidietely she knows how scared I am. „Oh my sweet angel, you don't have to be afraid. I will call you every night and check up on you. This will be such an adventure and you know it. Now give me a hug and then go and catch that flight" she says and smiles at me. I hug her and tell her that I love her and then I hurry to catch the flight.

 _ **Jocelyn's POV**_

I watch as my 17 year old daughter runs away from me to catch her flight to New York. I had been looking day and night for the perfect school for Clary that I know he would never find her in. And then I found that lowkey institute in New York and I immediately signed her up. I sure know I will miss those big red curls and those big green eyes of hers. But I know it is for her own good. She is not safe here with me, well not until I know for sure that **he** is dead or that **he** has been captured.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I hope you'll enjou this chapter because it took really long time to write and to post (because I wasn't sure if it was good enough) but here you go!**

 **Chapter 2 - New Town, New Me?**

 _ **Clary's POV**_

I look out the window of the plane that is taking me away from London. All I can see are clouds, not a particularly nice view but I like it, it keeps my mind occupied so I can't get lost in my thoughts. But counting clouds doesn't keep me entertained for long and before I know I start to think of mum again. Tears come crawling down from my eyes down to my cheeks. They feel cold on my skin but are warm when I wipe them away. The woman sitting next to me notices my tears and takes my hand.

"Are you alright sweetie?" she asks and looks me straight in the eyes. She has really beautiful deep blue eyes, haven't really seen such blue eyes before.

"Yeah…no, or well I don't really know" I say and laugh nervously.

The woman smiles at me and then let's go of my hand. After I have told her why I was crying she nods her head towards my hands and says, "may I?". I give her my hands and then she closes her eyes, a bit weird if you ask me.

"I sense that you will not feel alone for much longer…",

"I didn´t say anything about me being alo…",

"you will meet people that you may not understand at first, but they will be the ones that will stand by you at the most vulnerable times in your life" she finishes and takes a deep breath, still with her eyes closed. I look at her with judging eyes, which I know is rude but hey that woman is super strange, and then she starts talking again, "Also, when those vulnerable times come you have to remember who are you friends and who are your enemies, do not mistake enemies for friends".

Then she opens her eyes, those big blue eyes of hers and clearly she wants me to say something by the way she is looking at me.

"Umm…alright. But how do you know all of this? Are you some kind of a medium or something?" I say, not really as a question.

"You may say that" she says and smiles.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have landed on the JFK airport in New York. It is 25° degrees outside and we hope you will have a nice day and a nice stay. Mesdames et Messieurs!, nous avons atterri sur l'aéroport JFK…" I always stop listening to the flight attendant at this point, since I don´t speak French.

"It was nice getting to know you Clarissa" the woman next to me says and stands up from her seat.

I get a little bit confused, when did I tell her my name? I don't think I did at all. I watch in confusion as she walks away from me, maybe she was " _I really think this is the strangest thing you have ever been in Clary"_ I think to myself as I walk out from the airplane.

I told the cap driver that the school, or institution or what the hell it is, that it shouldn't be too far away from the airport. But we have now been driving for an hour and he keeps saying that 'we are almost there'. Twenty minutes later I see a big ass building out from my window 'New York´s prep school for the rich' it stands on the front of the building.

"Wow, they really couldn't sugar code it huh?" I say to the cap driver and nod towards the school.

The cap driver laughs a little and says, "well, welcome to New York".

I smile at that, and then I see a sign from out my window 'Hodge's Institute of Fine Arts', we're finally there. I pay the cap driver and he helps me with taking my bags 'n boxes out from the cap.

"It really ain't that much of stuff for a whole year you know" I hear someone say behind me.

A bit bony and seemingly tall guy with glasses is what I see when I turn around, "well I am not that good at packing stuff to be honest" I tell him. He laughs and reaches out his hand, "my name is Simon" he says and smiles. I take his hand and tell him my name. "Clarissa is a very pretty name, are you called Clare or something?" he asks and observes me. "No, I'm called Clary by my friends and my mum" I answer him and I emphasize the words 'friends' and 'mum' and then I take up my bags from the ground. "So my I call you Clary then?" he asks and grins a little. I find myself liking him and I haven't even known him for 5 minutes. I smile at him, "Can you help me with 'all my stuff' up to my room?" I ask him and nod to the two boxes I took with me. "Yeah no props, but only if I can call you Clary…?" , he awaits my answer but I just grin at him and walk towards the dorm. "Hey! You haven't answered me" he calls behind me, but he soon realizes that I am not gonna answer him so he takes up the bags and comes running to me. "You know, I like you Clary" he says and I smile.

When we arrive in front of my room I hesitate for a second, _"this is where I will live for three years while I am in this school. And behind this door is the girl whom I will spend those three years with"_ I think to myself. "Should we go inside?" Simon asks and waits for my answer. I open the door but with a little hesitation.

"Oh my god! You must be Clarissa! I was soooo excited to meet you, I know we will be best friends in no time!" I hear the soon as I step into the room.

The girl that meets my eyes has black long hair and is pretty tall for a girl. I don't think I have ever met a girl who dresses so boldly. She is wearing brown high heeled boots that reach to her knees, a white long-sleeve dress with a V neckline which reaches just right above her knees.

"Oh, hi. You are Isabelle right?" I ask as I let the bags down.

"Yup, that's me!...And you are?" she asks Simon and looks at him from head to toe.

"Umm, I'm Simon. I'm just a couple of doors away, you probably haven´t noticed me or something…" he says awkwardly, "…hey Clary I'll see you later, I'm gonna go and see if my roommate has arrived".

I say goodbye to Simon, my first friend here in this strange city. It's actually pretty funny to say the word 'friend', I didn't have that many friends back in London. Well frankly I didn't have any friends. I don't know why, I just did not get that well along with teens my age back there. But now, as I look at Simon and Isabelle (who frankly decided that we should be friends even before we met) I begin to wonder if they will be those friends whom that strange lady on the airplane talked about, I only wonder.

I, Clary Fairchild, am actually on a basketball game… and I aint even joking, like literally. When Simon left, Isabelle suggested that we should go to the school's first basketball game against some other school nearby. I immediately said no, but she did not seem to care, nor was she listening. I must say that Isabelle does NOT strike me as the basketball-fan-type-kind of girl. We drove to the game in her car and picked up her brother, Alec, on the way. When he stepped into the car I knew immediately that he did not like me at all, with no reasons. But anyhow, right now I am sitting in a kind of blue-ish tiny chair (which is really hard by the way) and watching a high school basketball game, not my idea of fun. Then suddenly I see him, I do not know who he is but the second he steps out on the field he looks me straight in the eyes. I curse to myself as I cannot see the colour of his eyes, which is the most noticeable thing about a person. You may argue with me, but my opinion is that the eyes are what you are. If they are deep-blue perhaps you have a deep personality and are hard letting people in, or maybe you have light green eyes and it can represent how light and optimistic you are. Anyhow, I could not see the colour of his eyes that looked at me for about 3 seconds and it bothers me.

"Hey, you ait?" I hear Isabella asking me from beside me, but I am too focused on that boy to answer her. Then she pinches me and I let out a muffled sound of pain, "ow, why did you do that for?" I ask her.

"I can see that you are watching him", she says to my surprise, "do you know him?" I ask hopefully.

She smiles and tells me that his name is Jace Wayland and that he is her half-brother, I look back at the boy. _Jace Wayland_. I can see from the corner of my eye that both Isabelle and Alec are watching me watch him. I don't know what it is about him, but it draws me in.

After the game I can tell that we are not walking the same way out as we came in, "hey, why are we not going the other way? Did we not go there before?" I ask them.

"We are not going yet" Alec answers me.

"We're going to see Jace of course, we usually give him a ride back to the dorm after the game" Isabelle tells me and smiles, but with a tint of grin.

When we enter 'backstage' where the locker rooms are, I am greeted with a disgusting smell of sweaty boys and bad breath. We wait outside the locker rooms while Jace is getting dressed, I wait with eager to finally see the colour of his eyes. When he comes out I immediately feel disappointed because Jace is wearing sunglasses. What an arse, wearing sunglasses at this time of the day or evening, I don't really know what the time is.

"Great game Jace, you played well…or balled well or whatever you call it" Isabella said and giggled, Alec agrees with her and smiles.

"Thanks guys, I really appreciate that you come to my every game even though I know you don't like basketball" says Jace and smiles back to them, then he turns to me and I suddenly freeze. Isabelle laughs at me and introduces us,

"Jace, this is my new roommate Clarissa but she's called Clary. I dragged her with me to this game to introduce you two"

I suddenly feel my cheeks blushing, "she brought me here to meet him? What the hell, why did she not tell me?" I think to myself.

"Clarissa, that's a pretty name. I think I would prefer to call you that rather then Clary" Jace says and then smiles.

I feel my cheeks blush even more and I suggest to Isabelle that we should get going before the curfew on the dorm starts. I actually like that curfew, because then I can always use that as an excuse if I need to hurry from someplace I don't want to be, like now. Isabelle agrees and we hurry to the car.

On the way back to the dorm I begin to think to myself where they all live so I ask them. "We live just nearby actually" Jace answers, who is by the way sitting right next to me, "what? Why are you then staying at the dorm?". Alec is the first to answer and tells me that their parents are always so much away so they decided that they should just be staying at the dorm an maybe mingle a little bit with teens on their own age. "We weren't really popular in elementary school…" Isabelle tells me but I sense a bit of sarcasm in her tone. "Well except for Jace, the girls just loved him" and then they all laugh, I guess some kind of an inside joke.

When we arrive at the dorm I estimate that Jace will take off his glasses since we are inside, but he does not and it really pisses me off. "Well I guess we will have to split now, but I'll see you guys tomorrow" Isabella claims and kisses them on the cheek, "goodnight ya´ll" she says and starts walking away. When I start following her I hear Jace saying "goodnight" and then they walk to their room. The minute we arrive in our bedroom Isabelle leads me toward the bedroom and gives me a hug.

"You know, I really haven't had any girlfriend before. It's just always been me, Alec and Jace for as long as I can remember".

I can tell that she is being honest but I can't believe her. She did strike me as the 'mean popular girl' when I saw her first, but maybe she is just a sweetheart deep down in her heart.

 _I don't recognize where I am but I have been here before, that I am sure of. Everything is in black and white from what meets the eye, even the ski end the mountains. I walk past a little ol' windmill, that hasn't been working properly for many years I guess, and a big meadow. In the middle of the meadow I see a big mansion, dark-white-ish colour and has a pretty worn out look but it probably wasn't like that a century ago. I decide to walk up to the mansion and explore it. I knock on these big doors with some kind of an old woodcraft on it, but no one answers. I walk in, and as soon as I am inside everything turns from black and white into colour. Red carpet, golden chandelier, white marble stairs and wooden walls are what face me when I enter the mansion. Suddenly I feel a scent in the air, a scent that I have felt since I was a baby, my mother's aroma. "But how can that be? Why do I feel her scent in this house?" I say to myself since there is no one around to hear me. I start to wonder what happened here, all the furniture's are in place but there is no one here nor is there any sign of human living in this big mansion. Then suddenly I feel another scent that lies up in the air, but it is not a good one, it is the scent of fear._

 **Thank you guys so much for reading my story! I really appreciate it!  
Please review and send me some tips on grammar if you want ;)  
But otherwise, I hope you liked it and I can't wait for you to read the next chapter! 33**

 **-Will edit soon-**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys,**

 **I'm sorry that this chapter came a little later than I expected but I hope you like it! 33**

* * *

 **CHAPTER THREE - THE FIRST DAY**

 ** _Clary's POV_**

 _September, first day of shool_

I wake up all sweaty but I cannot remember what I dreamt about that woke me up all sweaty. "Hey, you don't look so good, is everything all right?" I sense Isabelle's worried eyes from her bed.

"Yeah, I'm all right. I just had a nightmare, that's all" I tell her and sit up in the bed.

"Well, classes start in 15 minutes so you should probably hurry if you don't want to be late" she says and blinks me, she kinda reminds me of mum to be honest (without all the "I dress like I don´t care" attitude and all).

"Shit" I say to myself and get up out of the bed. I look at my class schedule that hangs up on the wall above the bed to see what my first class of the day is. 'History' it says. "Where is classroom 14?" I ask Isabelle but when I turn around I see that she had left, but I didn't notice it. "Well, I guess I'll just have to find it on myself" I think to myself and get dressed. After asking three people where classroom 14 is I give up. But then, all out of sudden, I see Jace and he apparently sees me to because he starts walking towards me.

"You look kinda lost don't you?" he says with a devious smirk on his face.

"Maybe…I'm just looking for classroom 14. I'm going to history and I am already late" I tell him a little bit frustrated.

"Well lucky thing for you mrs.-I'm-kinda-lost, but I am going to the exact same class" he says and tells me that the classroom is just at the end of the hall. When we enter the class the teacher stops talking and everyone looks at us.

"Well thank you for joining us mr. Wayland and mrs.?..." the teacher says and turns his gaze toward me.

"Fairchild, Clarissa Fairchild" I tell him and then Jace and I get seated, "Well you can call me Hodge".

Unfortunately, there were no separate seats left so we had to sit together alone at the back of the room and that will be our seats for the rest of the year (it is too embarrassing). When we sit down I notice that he doesn't have his sunglasses on, but he isn't looking towards me so once again I cannot see his eyes. The whole class he just sat still and looked out the window to our right but then when the bell rang he turned his head to me and looked me in the eyes. "Deep green eyes but with a slight of brown shade to them, perhaps he's a light person but with a dark past" I think to myself and continue to look at them.

"My eyes?" he then suddenly says to me.

I slightly startle and look away, "fucking hell, I said it out loud" I THINK to myself this time.

"Sorry I… I didn´t mean to say it out loud" I tell him and stressfully laugh, then I stand up.

I hurry walking out the classroom so he won't see my red cheeks. "Hey!" I hear him say behind me and then I feel a hand grab me by the shoulder and turn me around. I guess he wanted to be gentle but it hurt a little so I let out a muffled sound of pain. "Sorry" he says and lets me go.

"Why did you follow me?" I ask him, but I guess I already know the answer.

"I guess because you just ran away from me" he says and laughs a little.

"I did not run away from you" I say with a little irritation in my voice. But I guess he thinks I'm lying since he laughs again.

"Well okay then" he says with sarcasm and then there is a moment of silence. I can feel his gaze on me but I won't look him in the eyes so I just look behind him.

"I like you Clarissa" he then says and brakes the silence with it. Then he smiles and walks away, leaving me confused. I watch after him but then I shake my head and head to my next class, science.

* * *

 _October /_

 _Paris, France_

"Has she said anything?" he asks. "No Blackwell, not yet" Pangborn answers.

"Well maybe you're just too soft huh?" he says in humiliation to Pangborn and starts walking towards the girl. Pangborns stands in Blackwells way and growls at him but then steps aside. "Hello, my name is Blackwell what is your name?" he asks the girl and at the same time takes a seat opposite her.

"My name is Marie, and why am I here! And where are my parents?" the girls cries out.

"Don't worry about THEM" Blackwell says and the girl cries even more, knowing that they are probably hurt. Then Pangborn get's really frustrated and grabs her shoulders.

"Where is the girl?" he spits out. The girl starts to shake by fraught,

"I don't know who…"

"WHERE IS CLARISSA?" he yells at her and grabs her tighter. Then suddenly the girl freezes.

"Clary? Are you talking about Clary?" the girl asks hopeful that she finally can get to go if they get what they want.

"Yes, Clarissa…'Clary'. Where is she?" Blackwell answers and pushes Pangborn away. The girl releases an heavy breath and tells them that Clary was in her school and that she knows her very well.

"What do you want with her?" she asks frightened for Clary and herself.

"Where is she located now?" Pangborn asks, dismissing what the girl had just asked them.

"I don´t know. We haven´t spoken for months. But I heard that she is abroad somewhere in an art school" the girl tells them and lets out a cry of pain where Pangborn held her arms.

"Where?" Pangborn hisses at he.

The girl closes her eyes trying hard to remember what Cindy, her best friend had told her about where Clary went.

"New York" she spits out and then soon realizes by their grin that she shouldn´t have told them where Clary went because she is now in danger. And because now she knows by their looks that she and her parents are never going to leave this cellar alive.

* * *

"God, how can you be so good at this?" I ask Isabelle after gym class. We were running labs and she actually circled me like four times and also when we were doing some gymnastic stuff she just climbed up that rope like a monkey running from a tiger. "Practise honey" she says proud and blinks me, she often does that. I go usually go outside after gym class to get some air and breathe in the autumn air. The weather has got a bit cold since I arrived, a month ago, but it is warmer here at this time of year than it it in the UK. The leaves have starten to fall from their branches, it is beautiful. I sit on a stone bench in the garden and take up my sketch book. I haven´t really drawn anything in a long time so I enjoy it, sketching and the autumn weather.

Its past midnight but I can't sleep, I feel like there is something wrong but I don´t know what. I decide to go to the "nerd room" as it's called (because particular students hang out there and play video games, read comics and play Dungeons and Dragons) but I just call it the 'chill room' since I enjoy sitting there on my own, drawing when it is too cold to sit outside. When I enter the room I see some regulars here, students that hang out here…A LOT, but there are fewer people today than usual. I sit down on the sofa, that is placed in front of an old TV (that´s my usual place) and take out my sketch book from my little bag, that I made myself when I was 11, and then I turn on the TV. CCN turns on and I turn the volume down a notch since it is pretty quiet in here, everyone else in this room are playing video games on the computers with their headphones in, and so I won´t trouble anyone in here. The TV here has three channels; Cartoon Network, some TV-show marathon channel and then CCN. I hear someone entering the room so I look at the door and there I see Jace. We haven´t like really spoken much since he told me that he like me, and that is a month ago. When I come to think of it I haven't really seen him much around, neither Alec and Isabelle. Well I always see Isabelle before bed but not really during the day. So I've been hanging out much with Simon, whom I really like but not 'like like'.

"What are you doing up so late?" I ask him as he walks towards me.

"Well, I could ask you the same question" he says and stops right in front of me.

When I open my mouth to answer him, something catches my attention. There is a photo of a girl and her family I know on the screen and under the photo it says "found dead in their hotel room in Paris". " _Marie"_ I accidentally say out loud. Then Jace steps aside and turns around to see what I am looking at. I can feel something missing in my heart, and when I look at her again I know it is because she is dead. I grab the TV remote and turn the volume up, I know it must be too loud right now but I do not care.

"A family were found dead at the Hilton hotel in Paris, France at 9pm earlier this evening. The family had travelled to the city last week on vacation but disappeared three days ago until they were found earlier. The police said that there were no fingerprints to be found on the victims or any evidence that could lead to the White's family murderer. In an interview with the media, the chief of the Paris police Alphonse B. Moreau said that the police had never had a crime before that had no evidence to lead to the accused…"

"Did you know them?" Jace asks and sits next to me.

My eyes drift to the floor, "yeah, well maybe I did not know her very well but she was a good friend to me, the only friend I had at my school. You see, girls did not like me because I read comic books and I used to sit alone drawing in lunch break and boys did not like me because I didn´t have boobs or like football. But Marie didn't care what others thought of me, she used to come from time to time to my table and talk to me. She was really nice." And then a flash of memories from those lonely lunch breaks when she came and talked to me and when she would walk me home from school when I needed company.

I can feel those cold tears crawling from my eyes and down my cheeks. "I am really sorry" Jace says and then came a moment of silence which really happens a lot with him apparently. But then the strangest thing happens. Jace lifts his hand from his lap and reaches for my hand, I watch as his beautiful and strong hand reaches into mine and holds it. I can feel that he is looking at me but I don´t look back at him. I don't know why, I just feel so strange right now. We sit there in silence as I let my tears flow and when I'm done I wipe my face with my free hand. "Thank you, for just holding my hand" I tell him and stand up. "Yeah, no problem. I guess it is kinda nice to have someone by your side while you cry even though you don't think so at first" he says more to himself than me. "Well thanks anyway and goodnight, I'm going to head to bead since I have gotten pretty tired after all the crying" I say and smile to him.

"You have a beautiful smile" he says and smiles back at me.

"Oh he makes me so confused" I think to myself as I walk towards my room, and my sweet bed.

* * *

 _ **Jace's POV**_

I watch her as she walks out of the room. I look around me and see that everyone had left, but I did not notice it. I go to one of the computers and go to CNN's web page to read more about the story. "The poor girl, it's not nice losing your friends like this" I hear a familiar voice say behind me.

"Hodge, I did not hear you enter" I turn around and cross my arms.

"Well that is because I did not enter just now, I have been here all evening going through that same story on different channels. It is a strange case. No evidence of the murderer or anything for that matter" he mutters to himself.

"Do you think that it could have been…you know" I ask him with hesitation because I know the sensitivity of the matter.

"I think it could be Jace, I think it was them" he tells me heavily and at that very second I'm sure my heart skipped a beat.

"That is not good, if they are back in business than that means no good" I point out and Hodge nods.

"No, it cannot mean any good".

* * *

 **So that's it for now!**

 **I really hope you liked this chapter and** ** _please_** **if you have any requests or tips or just anything please leave a comment/review, I would really appreciate it! 33**


	4. Chapter 4

**HEY!**

 **I am so sorry for the late update! I've just been so busy with work and when I come home I am just to tired to write but now I finally finished this chapter and I hope you will like it!**

 **Enjoy,**

* * *

 **CHAPTER FOUR - LUKE**

 ** _Jocelyn's POV_**

 _Late October_

It's almost midnight and she hasn't called yet so I decide to take up the phone and call her myself.

"Hey mum" I hear her voice say in excitement.

"Hello angel, how are you?" I ask and lay down on the bed.

"I'm alright, I'm just still a little shaken after what happened with Marie and her parents, even though it happened a week ago". I hear her voice fading a little. Clary takes everything that happens around her so personal, she is a little bit emotional person. But I can't blame her, she liked that girl a lot.

"Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for what happened. That poor girl and her parents, oh lord I hope they will find whoever did this" it sickens me that I have to lie to my daughter, I do not like it but the truth itself is far more dangerous than the lie.

"Yeah I do hope so… mum?" I can hear that she has something important to share with me so I sit up again.

"Yes angel, what is it?",

"I umm…. I've been having these strange nightmares every now and then. And it is always the same one. It´s like I am always on this countryside, I do not know where but I've been there before. And there is this mansion on a big meadow and I also recognize it but I don't know from where…" I know immediately what she is talking about, and it frightens me. "…and when I enter I can smell your sweet perfume in the air but at the same time I sense fear. It is driving me crazy that everything in this dream is recognizable to me, but I do not know why" she finishes.

A flashback of memories takes me back to that house and I can smell the fresh paint on the living room walls that I had just finished painting.

 _"_ _It looks lovely…" Luke says as he enters the room. He walks up to me and takes the painting brush from my hand, "…but a pregnant woman should not paint an entire room all by herself, and that you know very well". I know he's right, I should not put any more stress on me then there already is. "I know, I just thought that when this baby comes out in four months it would not have to see those hideous walls that where here before I painted over them" I tell him and take the brush back and put it on a stack of newspapers. "Have you two decided any names yet?" he asks as we take a seat on the red couch Luke gave us for our wedding. "Well we're thinking about perhaps Maryse because she has asked us…" we laugh a little and then I tell him the other name we were thinking about. "Clarissa, little Clary. You know, I like that name" he tells me and rubs my shoulder friendly._

"Mum?" I hear Clary say on the other end of the line and I'm taken back to present time.

"Sorry sweetie, I zoned out a little bit. But try not to think too much of these nightmares you have. They will pass, I promise you okay?" I convince her.

"Alright mum. Thank you for listening to me" she says and I imagine her smile on the other end.

"Of course angel, I will hear from you again in a couple of day's right? I ask her.

"Yes mum, maybe I will hear you again tomorrow. Who knows?" she says with a little bit of sarcasm.

"Nighty night"

"Night mum" she says and then she hangs up.

I look at the phone for a while and then I decide to call him. I haven't heard from him in years so maybe it is time to call him. The 'peep' comes and I get a little bit scared, "what if he has a girlfriend now, or is dead or something" I think to myself but then someone answers.

"Hello, do you know what time it is?" a sleepy person asks on the other line. I would recognize that voice from far away.

"Luke" I say and hope for a response.

"Jocelyn? Is that you?" he says cheeringly.

"Yes, it is me. Are you somewhere nearby? Could you come over?" I ask him, "It is urgent".

Luckily for me he tells me that he is in London for the weekend visiting some friends and could be here in an hour. "Thank you Luke, I appreciate it" I tell him and hang up the phone. After an hour has passed I look out the window to see if I could spot him somewhere nearby but there is no sign of him. But then I see two men walking on the street that I do not recognize at first but when they come closer and closer I recognize them and my heart skips a beat, _"Shit"._

I hurry out to the backyard and then I start running. _"They are not going to get me, HE will not get me this time or ever"_ I think to myself as I run away from my house. I look behind me and I see that they are not following me, "maybe they did not notice me" but when I turn my head to look straight forward I run into something, or someone. I fall back and big cold hands grab me by the neck and push me up from the ground.

"Well hello Jocelyn" I hear Pangborn say from behind me with his hideous hands on the back of my neck.

I don´t answer them but I can tell that they aren´t expecting me too answer. Blackwell takes a step near me and spits on the ground,

"you filthy whore. How could you abandon our leader? And bearing his child?" he spits out.

And then I feel a sudden rush of pain and cold as he slaps me across my face. I spit some blood on the ground and turn my head up, I am not going to break in front of them.

"You know Jocelyn, we weren´t supposed to come here but HE wanted us to go get you before we picked up your daughter. He want´s and hopes to have a lovely reunion the whole family together" Blackwell says and by those words I look him straight in the eyes with fear,

 _"_ _they have found Clary?"._

"To answer your unspoken question, yes, we have found Clarissa. Her friend Marie just could not keep her mouth shut about it" Pangborn says from behind me and I can feel the cold sarcasm in his voice as he talks about Marie, they know they killed her and they do not regret it one bit.

As I am about to say something I hear a growl in the dark behind Blackwell. They seemed to hear it too as they stiffen a little bit and Blackwell turns around. Then suddenly a big dark grey wolf comes out from the dark and he growls again, but not at me. I have never really seen Luke in his wolf form before, but I immediately knew it was him.

"A werewolf getting involved in Shadowhunter business, not very smart I must say" Blackborn says, "but then again, werewolf aren't very smart at all so it really does not surprise me" he continues and laughs at Luke.

Luke continues to circle us and growl at Pangborn and Blackwell. I suddenly hear a little 'click' sound behind me and by the sound it probably is a little knife. Pangborn lets go of my neck and is about to go at Luke when we hear another growl from the darkness behind us. Pangborn steps back and gives Blackwell a look.

"We may not be able to capture you right now because of your little dum wolves…" Luke growls louder at that, "…but we are coming for your daughter and I know you won´t let her go alone to him. I know you will join her sooner or later" Blackwell says as he and Pangborn step into the darkness away from me and Luke (and the other wolf).

"I will never surrender to Valentine" I hiss at them.

Then they disappear but I do not feel relieve at all. They are coming for Clarissa, Valentine is coming for her, and the thought of that makes the hair on my body unpleasantly rise up.

* * *

 **There it is, I wanted this chapter to be solely Jocelyn´s POV, how did you like it?** **I have no work for the next couple of days so be prepared for the next update very soon! XOXO**

 **ps. I really like reviews, it thrives me to keep writing and so please review if you have any thoughts!**

 **pps. sorry for the short chapter, I did not reallt get much time to write it :(**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys,**

 **I am so sorry for the late update! But finally...here is the new chapter you've been waiting for! Hope you enjoy it like I enjoyd writing it! 33**

* * *

 **CHAPTER FIVE - PANDEMONIUM**

 ** _Jocelyn's POV_**

"Thank you Luke" I say and take a deep breath. I watch as Luke comes near and transforms right in front of me. I have never seen a wolf transform before and it is really a sight. And there he is in his birthday suit that god gave him. A wolf then appears behind him and Luke thanks him and then the wolf leaves.

"I'm packmaster now" he explains and walks towards me.

"Are you alright?" he asks and cups my face with his right hand.

"Yes, I am alright. It is Clarissa I am worried about right now. Valentine cannot have her. He's sick" I spit on the ground as I say his name.

"He is. Do you know why he is so bent on having you all together?" Luke asks and steps back a little.

"Yes I do. Valentine is mad, he is a psychopath but he is very dangerous. He is building an army and he wants us by his side. He wants us to support him. He cannot go on without our support…" I tell him. "But I do not want to watch as he destroys the world, I am not going to stand beside that maniac and he is not going to have my daughter" I say determined.

"What do you want to do Jo?" Luke asks, still butt naked in front of me. But there is no one on the streets in this neighbourhood at this time of the night.

"I am going to Idris to ask for help and I need you to do something for me while I am away" I tell him.

Luke nods and I continue.

* * *

 ** _Clary's POV_**

 _Early November_

"Yeah mum, no problem. Go and have fun on your vacation, do not worry about me okay?" I tell mum over the phone. She sounded a little bit concerned when she called but I think she just worries about me being alone here in New York and now since she is going somewhere where there is no phone signal or anything (which is very unusual) I get that she is a little bit concerned.

"Okay, but it will only be for a month or shorter. I promise" she tells me and then we say our goodbyes.

"Was it your mother?" Isabelle asks from her bed. She is laying on her bed and texting some friends.

"Yeah, she is going someplace where there is no signal or something and she just wanted to tell me that I could not call her but she would send letter" I laugh a little by the thought of mum sending letters instead of text messages. Isabelle seems a little startled but I don't think much of it. A couple of minutes later Isabelle suddenly jumps out of the bed and tells me that we're going out.

"I don't know about that. The curfew starts at 10 and I don´t want to get in any trouble" I tell her but she doesn't listen.

"We are going out. I haven't partied since Alec's birthday and that was in August!" she says and goes to her/our closet. "Jace and Alec have agreed to meet us at a local bar called 'Pandemonium' in thirty minutes. You in or out?" she asks as she starts rummaging in the closet looking for an outfit. Finally she finds a short, tight-looking white dress and puts it on.

"Alright, I'll come with you" I say and let out a sigh. "But what should I wear?" I ask her and point at my flannel shirt and my torn jeans that I'm wearing.

"Well not that" she says with disgust and starts rummaging in our closet again. "But you can wear this" she says and throws a dark blue dress at me. "Isn't it a little bit short?" I ask her but by the look on her face I suggest that the word 'too short' is not in her vocabulary. It takes a little effort putting the dress on but when it's on I can hardly breathe. I guess that's how women in the Victorian age felt like. But when I look in the mirror I do not see the nerdy normal girl I am, but I see a fierce looking girl with a very hot body. I was the last girl to grow boobs in my class, and even when they started to grow, they quickly stopped growing. I remember the girls in my class teasing me for being flat-chested. I was kind of a tomboy when I was little, but it stopped when I started to gain some curves and when my boobs started to grow again.

"You look super hot" I hear Isabelle say from behind me. "But you would look even hotter if you would put your hair up like this" she says as she takes my hair and puts it up in a big bun. I smile and nod at her, _perhaps she's right_. While Isabelle calls a cab I text Simon.

"Isabelle is taking me to this club, Pandemonian or smth"

"Pandemonium?"

"Yup"

"You do know about the curfew right? You could get in trouble if you´re caught outside the dorm after 10"

"I know and I told Isabelle about it but I guess she doesn't care about it"

"Well I don´t like this idea, but just be careful okay? It's getting late and clubs can be dangerous"

"Hahahaha you loser don´t worry about me, I'll be ok" I text Simon and then stand up from my bed.

"The cab´s coming in five, you ready?" Isabelle asks and reaches for her little black leather bag.

"Yeah, I feel like I can´t breathe in this dress but I mean if I die tonight by suffocation I'll die as a proud hooker" I tell her with sarcasm and Isabelle laughs. "Hooker" she says quietly and laughs a little to herself as we walk through our door. We tiptoe down the hall and down the stairs until we reach the main door to the dorm. When we go outside I spot the cab waiting for us on the street and we walk towards it. It takes about 10 minutes driving to Pandemonium so the cab ride isn´t too expensive. What faces me as I step out of the cab is a big industrial building on two or three floors with a big, red and shiny sign that says 'Pandemonium'. As we walk towards the entrance I see that there is a long line. I sigh at the sight but Isabelle drags me to the entrance in front of all the people waiting in the line and says something to the security that I can't hear and he lets us in.

"What did you say to the security?" I ask her curiously.

"Oh, nothing. Don't worry about it" she says and drags me with her toward the heavy electronic music that comes from inside the club. I immediately forget about the security-thing as we walk inside the club. I've never actually gone to a club, since my mum doesn't like me going out after dark, so this is a new thing to me. All of the dancing people interest me and they make me want to go into the crowd and just dance my ass off.

"Hey! There they are. JACE, ALEC!" Isabelle suddenly calls and I turn my head into the same direction as hers.

The boys are sitting at the bar but they didn't hear Isabelle so she grabs my arm and drags me once again towards them. I can see that Jace is wearing an all-black outfit like always and I can also see that he had taken a shower before coming here because his hair has a dampness of wetness to it. I like when he has his hair loose, the way it falls down to his ears and the way his blonde colour always lights a little no matter the brightness of the room. They turn around as we approach them and when Jace's eyes spot me I can see a tint of surprise in them.

"Wow, you look…" Jace starts and stands up from the bar stool.

"Like a hooker" Alec continues and takes a sip from his drink.

I don't answer him but I feel a sudden rush of anger towards Alec but I let it past me since he shouldn't irritate me this much with little words.

"No she does not!…" Jace interrupts and walks towards me. "You look beautiful, stunning even! But don´t hide your big beautiful hair in a bun" he says and reaches for my bun. He then takes the pin out from it and my big messy hair falls down on my back. I suddenly feel my cheeks blush but I quickly cup them so no one can see them. A deep silence then follows but it doesn't take long for Isabelle to break it, "Alright love-birds let's go out on the dance floor and dance like there is no tomorrow". Isabelle leads Alec to the dance floor but he keeps his eyes on us until he can't see us anymore.

"Clarissa Fairchild, would you do me the honours of dancing with me?" Jace asks and reaches out his hand like the gentlemen in the movies do.

I look at him for a moment just to figure out his intentions. I just don't get him, sometimes he acts like he's interested in me but some days he doesn´t even speak to me and even disappears for days at a time alongside with Alec and Isabelle. They´re all a little bit weird from time to time, but now I just want to dance and I want to dance with Jace.

"Yes, alright I'll dance with you" I answer him and I let out a little giggle with my answer.

Jace smiles and takes my hand. He leads me through the crowd (not like Isabelle, who just dragged me with her) towards the middle of the dance floor, right under the discoball. He takes a moment and looks me in the eyes looking for some kind of an acceptance. Moments later he takes my hands and puts them around his neck and then he puts his own hands on my hips. I feel the hair on my hands rise and I also feel a little insecure but then when he draws me in closer I feel all my worries and insecurities go away as I get lost in his gaze. It has only been a minute or two when Alec taps Jace's shoulder and I feel Jace´s soft and warm hands slip away from my hips.

"We have a situation" Alec says quietly to Jace and I can see by the way he looks at him that there is something that I do not know and that they are keeping it from me.

* * *

 **I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your reviews and I am so happy about all the views I´ve gotten on this story! I'll try to update sooner next time! 33**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys!**

 **So sorry for the late update, I've had the writer´s block for weeks now but the past few days I just focused on writing and I finally completed the chapter. I hope it´s alright. It's maybe not the best chapter that I've written but more will come!**

 **Hope you enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 ** CHAPTER SIX**

 ** _Jace's POV_**

I look down at Clary and I can see her cute cheeks redden as I put my hands on her hips. It feels good having my hands there, like they belong on her body. We slow-dance for a while and all the time I cannot take my mind of her. Having her this close to me feels like heaven. The warmth of her body heats mine and I wouldn't want to let her go for the world. Suddenly I feel a familiar hand on my shoulder, Alec.

"Jace" he says and I can feel Clary's hands slip from my body.

I fight the urge to draw her in to me again as I turn around to Alec. I can feel my body getting cold again and my mood with it.

"We have a situation" Alec says and looks me in the eyes with the look of unspoken words that are meant to be said in private. I don't want to leave Clary but I have my duties and she will just have to wait, although I know she won't like me leaving her here alone. I turn to Clary and ask her to wait for me at the bar or if she likes, to just go home. And like I expected she gets curious.

"What's going on, where are you going?" she asks with curiosity.

"Boy stuff" Alec quickly interrupts.

She doesn't answer him and to my surprise, she just nods her head quietly and walks towards the bar. Alec then takes my arm and drags me across the club towards the backdoors where Isabelle is standing.

"I saw it go outside towards the trash cans. It´s probably waiting in the ally for food" she says when we get to her.

"But it came to the wrong place" Alec interrupts her with a tint of a smirk on his face. Isabelle slaps him on the shoulder to remind him that this isn't a game.

"A vampire? Why does that NOT surprise me. They are so stupid" I say frustratingly as we walk outside.

* * *

 _ **Clary's POV**_

I walk to the bar and take a seat. I watch as Alec drags Jace across the whole club towards something that seems to be the backdoors. I cannot see Isabelle anywhere, maybe she went home. But that would be strange since she never goes anywhere alone. As I start walking towards the boys I see her white dress. _"Boy stuff huh?"_ I think to myself as I watch them three walk out through the backdoor. "Are they leaving me alone…here? Why would they do that?" I ask myself as I walk through the crowd. The club has gotten pretty crowded since we came here an hour ago. It's hard walking through all these people as they are dancing and jumping and twirling all up in my face. Suddenly I feel a hand grab my butt and when I turn around to see who did it someone accidentally punches me in the face and I fall down on the ground. My head aches from the punch but it doesn´t hurt as much as my regret of coming here tonight. I feel stupid for even thinking that they wanted to spend the whole night with ME. When I stand up I feel someone taking my arm lightly, helping me up. "God, are you alright?" I hear a familiar voice say to me. I look up and am startled with whom I see.

"Luke?" I say and then all out of sudden I forget everything that just happen and I fall into his embrace. I haven´t seen Luke since he left us when I was 10, that's about six years ago. He and mum were best friends, maybe even something more and he took so good care of us. He used to take me to school and walk me inside when I was scared to go alone. He was kinda like my father, but then he left.

"Are you hurt? I saw the man knock you down, but I didn´t catch the guy" he pauses for a second, "what are you doing here anyway?" and then he crosses his arms and raises his left eyebrow like he used to do when I lied to him when I was little.

"No I'm not hurt that bad, and I could ask you the same question. This doesn't seem like a place you would go to" I answer him and raise my eyebrow to even him.

"Well then, I guess fate just led us here so we could meet again right?" he then says and lets his eyebrow down, so do I. "I think you better get back to your dorm, you had a nasty bang on the head so maybe it would be nice to just rest" he continues.

I look back at the backdoor exit hoping to see them, but they weren´t there, they were gone. I feel a sudden rush of anger flow through my body. _"Why did they leave me here alone?", "I'm so stupid!"_. I walk rapidly towards the main entrance. I just need to get out of here. When I get out I luckly spot a cab and get in. When I'm closing the door someone stops me and opens it again. "You're not gonna go without me are you?" Luke says with irony. He smiles at me and takes a seat beside me. I was so bent on hurrying home to my bed that I had forgotten that Luke was behind me. When we arrive at the dorm Luke offers to walk me to my room.

"I don't need a babysitter, like you know…" I say to him with sarcasm. Luke looks at me and then laughs a little. "…It's not like I'm gonna die on my way to my room. It's a school, nothing ever happens here" I tell him. Then his smile disappears and I can see that face he makes when he's worried about something. I stop and look at him with a big question mark in my head.

"What?" he asks as if there's nothing going on.

"What is wrong? Why are you suddenly so worried?" I ask him curiously. Too my surprise he just relaxes his shoulders and pushes me forward to my room.

"There is nothing wrong, I'm just very tired. I had a long flight" he explains.

I immediately stop and turn around to him again, "My mom sent you! Didn't she?" I say with irritation. _"My own mother doesn't even trust me? She sends Luke to watch over me? I knew this trip was too good to be true"_ I think to myself as my anger builds up inside me.

"No, I work here" he then says to my surprise. "And relax, I'm not here to supervise you. OK?" he says and puts his hands on my shoulder to calm me down. "I'll see you tomorrow in geometry, sleep tight!" he says and then he leaves. I walk slowly back to my room, kind of avoiding meeting Isabelle and kind of because my head hurts, a lot. When I reach the doorknob I realize that I don´t really want to see her right now, or even talk to her. I decide that I'm just going to go to the chill room for a while, just to relax and maybe draw a little. When I walk into the 'chill room' there is no one there, to my surprise really, there are always some people playing dungeons of dragons or playing video games. But now there are no people, so I just take a seat on one of the big tables and take out my sketch book. Lucky that I took it with me to the club, you never know when you're gonna use it. I sit there alone for awhile just drawing until I hear someone enter, "god I hope it isn't Jace" I think to myself as I turn my head around to see who entered the room. I really can´t see the person, but I know he is a very tall boy based on his figure. He walks slowly towards me and when he comes nearer I start to see him clearly. He has a brown hair and big thick brown eyebrows. His eyes though, are deep blue, like mine. He's wearing a red t-shirt, jeans and a college sweater. Based on his appearance I would take him as one of the popular boys, the ones that are in the football team. And out of all the tables and seats in the room, he takes a seat next to me. "Hey there!" he says with a strange accent, can´t really pinpoint where he´s from. "Umm, hey" I say with a little confusion. " _Why did he sit next to me when he could have picked any other seat in the room?"_ I think to myself. But who am I to judge? Maybe he just likes the company.

"I´m Clary, and you are?" I ask him as I shake his hand.

"My name is Jon, nice to meet you" he answers and smiles. When I pick up my pencil again he compliments me on the drawing.

"It's beautiful, I wish I could draw like that. Unfortunately I was only gifted with the ability to draw stickmen" he says and I laugh a little.

"Well I'm sure your stickmen are beautiful too!" I tell him and smile.

He then reaches for his little bag and takes out a book. My eyes turn to the cover that says "The book of Idris". "Idris?" I accidentally say out loud, why do I always have to do that?.

"It's just fictional" he explains and opens the book.

"Oh" is all I say as I turn to my drawings.

We sit in silence for a while, me sketching and him reading. All out of sudden I get a little headache and I rest my head in the palms of my hands.

"You alright?" Jon asks and closes the book.

"I got a big bang on the head earlier, I feel on the floor. I'm so clumsy" I tell him but I keep the club-part out of it, I don´t want him to know all that.

"Maybe it would be best if you would just head to bed? Get a nice rest" he says as he packs his things. I don't argue although I don't want at all to go to my room and face Isabelle. But I know Jon is right so I pack my things and walk with him out the door. When I walk out the room I hit into somebody, and that´s when my head really starts hurting and my sight gets slightly blurred. When I come to my senses and see clearly again I am startled by the person that I walked into that now has its hands on my shoulders.

"Clary? Clarissa? You alright?" he asks as he shakes me a little. I twitch a little and take a step back from his hands.

"I'm fine" I say with coldness.

I turn my gaze to Jon who just stands there in silence, observing Jace and then I just stare down on the floor. I'm not really in the mood for any kind of communication right now so I just start walking towards my room away from them both.

"Clary? Where are you going?" I hear Jace ask with concern as I walk away from him.

"Leaving you…How does it feel?" I say harshly. I stop and turn around to see his reaction. I cross my arms so he knows I'm pissed and set up my bitch-face.

"What?...Oh, you mean when...I'm really sorry Clary" he says and I can see that he really does feel sad, in his posture and in his eyes. But forgiveness is not for free, not at all.

He starts walking towards me and I can see that he´s spreading his arms so he can hug me but I immediately stop him just a meter from me.

"I saw you go out, all three of you. That's when I realized that you were all leaving me..." I can see that he's going to interrupt but I stop him and continue. "And then I tried to follow you but someone hit me and I fell to the ground. Pretty great night don´t you think?" I say with sarcasm and irritation. Jace doesn't answer and if I'm not wrong, he's kind of embarrassed. I look at him and I can´t help it but feel sorry for him somehow, but I'm still mad.

"Look, I just want to go to bed ok? It´s been a long night and my head hurts really badly. So goodnight" I tell him and as I turn around I notice that John had left, I don´t blame him. I walk away from Jace and to my room.

* * *

 ** _Jace's POV_**

We take a cab home, the three of us. Isabelle falls asleep on the way home so I take it on my to carry her to her room since I don´t want to wake her up, it's been a rough night. There was not only the one vampire but he also had some other vampire friends with him that were very hard to catch. They can be sneaky sometimes, those vampires. God I hate them. When I get to Isabelle´s room I can see that Clary isn't home yet. "Oh god, Clary. I completely forgot about her" I think to myself as I lay Isabelle down on her bed. Then I remember where Clary goes when she can't sleep so I start walking towards the 'nerd room' or as she prefers it; the 'chill room'. When I'm about to walk in someone hits into me and I step back. "Clary?" I say out loud and put my hand on her shoulder. She clearly doesn't hear me so I say her name again. Clary doesn't answer again so I shake her a little to get her to her senses and that clearly works since she twitches and takes a step back from my grasp. When she looks at me I know for a fact that she's pissed. I ask her if she's alright and she only answers with a little "I'm fine". She then turns the gaze behind me and when I take a look I spot a tall dark haired dude in a "Hodge's institution of fine arts" college sweater. A bit geeky if you ask me. "Who is he anyways?" I ask myself and then I realize that Clary is walking away.

"Clary? Where are you going?" I walk past the guy towards her but stop a couple of meter from her. I knew what to expect when she said the next thing but the coldness still surprised me.

"Leaving you…How does it feel?" she says and turns around, facing me.

I guess she really took it in when we left her and forgot her. Well, I guess I would be pissed too. I get a little sad, I didn't want to leave her at all. I just wanted to dance with her all night, to hold her. It felt really good.

"What?...Oh, you mean when...I'm really sorry Clary" I say and I really mean it. I start walking towards her, ready to hug her but then she stops me, just a meter away from her. I can't stand being this close from her but still away from her. I just want to be in her arms.

"I saw you go out, all three of you. That's when I realized that you were all leaving me..." she starts and when I'm about to interrupt to explain she continues, . "And then I tried to follow you but someone hit me and I fell to the ground. Pretty great night don´t you think?" she finishes with sarcasm. I can tell she's trying to decide whether to forgive me or not but then she just explains that she's tired and that she just wants to go to sleep. And then she's gone, just like that. When I turn around, walking towards my room I can see that the boy is gone. "Who was he anyway and why was he with Clary?" I think to myself. Suddenly I feel a little protective and I decide that I would keep an eye on the guy, I don't really have a good feeling of him.

* * *

 **I'm starting school next** **Wednesday so be ready for maybe a little late updates because I really have to focus on school :( But I'll try to write and update every chance I get. Your reviews are really inspiring me to write, I thought I had lost my story a couple of weeks ago but your reviews kept me going and the thought of you guys helped me write this chapter the past couple of days.**

 **I really hope you liked the chapter and please, if you have any questions or tips I am more then welcome to answer them!**

 **Lots of love 33**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi my darlings, please forgive me for the very so late update. I hope you will like this chapter though as I enjoyd writing it for you and for me!**

 **xoxo**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN - THE BIRTHDAY

 _ **Mid November**_

 _Clary's POV_

It's been a few days now since that night when they left me alone in the club. I haven't really seen them since then, only a glimpse each day but they haven´t said one word to me. Jon has been very nice to keep me company since Simon's been very sick lately. I really want to talk to them…demand some explanation, but then on the other hand they didn't even come to apologize to me the day after...they have really just disappeared into thin air. It's Wednesday today so I sigh with the thought of having to go through another gym class, exercise isn't really my thing. Isabelle hasn´t been in school all day so I decide to just skip it -since I'm not going to survive it without her- and maybe take a little walk outside instead. _"At least that's some exercise"_ I think to myself as I head downstairs towards the front door.

"Going out?" I hear Jon say behind me as I reach for the doorknob.

I turn around and smile, "yeah, kind of skipping gym. I just want to take a little walk I guess" I tell him honestly as I put my black beanie on.

"Skipping class are we now? I guess I can´t let you go alone" he tells me and puts his jacket on that he was holding in his arms.

Out of the corner of my eye I can spot Luke watching us walk outside from the end of the hall. He's been watching me lately, but he hasn't really talked to me except maybe in geometry when he asks me to tell him what the answer to some equation is.

"You know about that book…"

We haven't been walking for about one minute when Jon starts talking about some book he's reading. I guess I wasn't looking for that kind of companion right now. I really just want to be alone with my thoughts. But it's nice to know that at least SOMEONE wants to talk to you, beside Simon. Although I'm mad at Isabelle and Jace (I don't really care about Alec, he always pisses me off so what he did didn´t really surprise me) I miss talking to them. It would not surprise me if they three would fail attendance this semester since they are always somewhere else then in school. Suddenly my mind drifts to that night at Pandemonium, specifically when I and Jace were slow-dancing on the dance floor. I´ve never slow-danced before so I may have been terrible at it but he didn't' seem to care. The way his hands rested on my hips and how close we were…nothing in the world can top that feeling, the feeling of being loved (by someone else then my mother).

"…and the way it describes…you aren't listening to me are you?" I get out of my head and focus on Jon.

"No I'm sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind" I tell him honestly. Then the cold hits me, I guess it's getting too cold to be outside. "It's getting really cold, maybe we should head back home" I say and stop. I can tell by the way he answers me that he is not so happy about returning home, maybe he likes the cold.

A few days later Isabelle walks through the door and into our room. It's very late but I pretend to be asleep, I will just talk to her tomorrow morning. Few minutes later someone else walks into the room.

"I hope she´s not too mad at us" Isabelle says to the mystical person, indicating me as the 'she' person.

The mystic person sighs. "Well she is most certainly not happy with us…she is asleep right?". _Jace._ I feel their eyes on me so I let out a little snore to proof to them that I'm asleep. They both let out a silent sigh. I can hear Isabelle unzipping her coat and taking off her boot, probably getting ready for bed.

"The secret must be kept safe she cannot know, not yet" Isabelle says with hushed voice.

 _"_ _What secret? What are hey hiding from me?"_ I think to myself. Jace probably nods his head since he does not answer her.

"She is so beautiful when she's asleep, she is so calm and peaceful" I hear Jace say from behind me

Then I can feel his hand on my face, stroking down my jawline. My body tickles all over and I can feel the hairs on my body rise with his touch. "How can he say that? After all we've been through I thought that he probably had lost his interest in me since he hasn't even tried talking to me even though he knows how mad I am" I think to myself in anger. I get so stuck in my anger in my mind that I don't notice it when Jace draws his hand back and I suddenly feel coldness on my cheek. "I can't be mad at him forever" I then think to myself and let out a sigh.

"Goodnight Isabelle, see ya tomorrow" I hear Jace say and then he shuts the door as he walks out.

The next morning when I wake up I see that Isabelle had woken before me because she isn't in her bed. I check the clock above my bed and when I see that I had overslept I jump up from my bed and take the first two things in my closet and get dressed. _"It is too late to change now_ " I tell myself after I've figured out why everyone is staring at me in the hallway on my way to class. I had accidentally taken my 'my little pony' pink sweater from my pyjama drawer. My hair is a mess, I have no make-up on and I have red, puffy eyes. That teaches me not to oversleep. When I walk into history, 15 minutes late I see everyone turn their head towards me and I can see that they are trying not to laugh, even Luke. The first thing I notice when I sit down is that Jace isn't here, maybe he's gone outta town again. After the awkward history class I decide to run back to my room to change before any more people can see me. But then I hear the schoolbell ring again (it's English history time). I take a few seconds pondering whether to run all the way back to my room and change and be late or go to class and be on time. I decide to just change after English history class. Two classes later the bell rings for lunch break. I walk to the cafeteria not minding all the eyes staring at my pyjama sweater. I forgot to change after English history so I've decided that it is too late and that I should just go with it. Then all out of sudden I hear my cellphone ring and I pick it up, "mothership" it says on the screen.

"Hey mum" I say to my mother on the other end of the line.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL" my mother screams through the phone.

 _"_ _Oh god, I had forgotten about my birthday in all the madness this morning"_ I think to myself. _"It's my birthday and my best friends haven´t even talked to me for days, not even today_ "

"Hello?" I hear my mother say.

"Sorry, I was just thinking. Thanks mum, I guess you are the only one in my life that remembers it" I say thinking about Isabelle, Jace and Simon.

"Well I hope you'll have a nice day my angel, hear you tonight?" mum says and I can detect some concern in her voice.

"Yeah alright, goodbye mum" and then I hang up. I check my phone for birthday messages from Simon who´s been sick for days, but there is nothing _. "I can't believe that not even Simon has said anything to me on my birthday, he knows how excited I WAS for my birthday"_ I think to myself as I get sadder and sadder. I decide to skip the rest of today's classes and head towards my bedroom and my beautifully comfy bed. When I walk past the mirror in my bed I can see how bad I look, "how could one person even look that bad?" I say out loud to myself as the tears start crawling down from my eyes like little raindrops falling down from the skies. I throw myself on my bed and let myself cry the sadness out from my head. Then like a baby, I fall into a deep sleep letting the sleep carry me away from my thoughts.

* * *

 ** _Paris, France_**

"How are things going?" he asks through the phone.

"Not so great, she is very hard to talk to and she doesn't let me in enough" the boy says on the other end of the line.

"Well you've been there long enough is it so hard to get her alone?" he ask with hardness in his voice.

"I was alone with her the other day, but we were out walking so we were not really alone. I will get her alone soon, I promise" the boy promises.

"Well you better, otherwise I will have to come and do this myself. I mean I would do it but I have other things to attend to. The ceremony has to be perfect, I need them both at my side for support and blood" he says and smiles at the thought.

"Yes, and you will have them. But in time" the boy says firm but hesitant and the same time.

"I do not have the time. They have to be here before the 20th of December when the ceremony will begin" he says with bitter voice.

"So you have the cup then?" the boy asks curiously.

"Not yet, but in a few days I will" he says and hangs up the phone. He reaches for his locket that hangs on his neck and opens it, revealing the pictures inside. In a short time I will have you both by my side. And my darling daughter, who will help me create my army of Shadowhunters, happy birthday.

* * *

 _Clary's POV_

I wake up to someone sitting down on my bed, stroking the hair away from my face. I open my eyes a little bit, un-abled to open them completely since they are swollen from all the crying. I focus on the person sitting right beside me looking worriedly in my eyes.

"Are you alright Clarissa?" Jace says with deep and concerned voice.

"Yes, I'm fine" I say with irritation rubbing my eyes with my fists.

"What happened? Please tell me" Jace asks with his _soft voice_.

I decide not to answer him so I just sit up quietly and stare into my palms. "I know you may not like me anymore, but I still do and I do care for you so would you just please let me know what´s wrong?" Jace says with concern. I let out a sigh releasing my body of all the tension that it had built up.

"It has just not been a very good day…" oh god no, the tears are starting to crawl out again, "…It started when I overslept and was late to class when I figured out that I had accidentally taken my 'my little pony' pyjama sweater instead of a normal sweater and I looked like a complete mess -worse than I do now- and I noticed that everyone noticed it and were secretly laughing at me, but I didn´t have time to change so I just wore it the entire day and then my mum called and…" I was starting to sob so I had to take a break in the story-time-telling and laid my face in the palm of my face. I felt Jace´s hand on my back stroke up and down trying to soothe me while he looked at me, still with his concerned stare at me. "…and then you and Isabel and Simon and even Alec haven´t spoken a word to me and I haven´t even seen you at all the past days. And oh to crown it all, it´s my birthday and nobody has said anything to me except my mum" I say with irritation and sadness as I wipe my tears away. Then Jace takes my hands and kisses them lightly. I suddenly stop crying and look him in the eyes.

"I´m really sorry we haven't been here with you for the last couple of days, and that your day has been a complete disaster…" he says and wipes my tears away with one hand while the other still holds my hands in its grip. "…But could you do one thing for me? Could you come with me?"

"Come where? I am a complete disaster" I say and point out my puffy eyes, my hair and my pyjama sweater.

"You look adorable, but if you want you can change into something more comfortable, something that screams "It's my birthday and I look hot as hel". I'll be waiting outside" he then says, lets out a smirk and stands up. As he reaches for the doorknob I call after him, "Jace?"

"Yes Clarissa" he answers and turns around.

"I don´t understand you… I mean, sometimes you talk to me as I am your best friend or just a friend, and sometimes you act like we're something more than that, like in the club and right now. I can´t stay in this confusion anymore, could you please help me understand?" I ask him with determination. He lets out a little smile but nothing more, then he walks out the door and shuts it from behind him. Sometimes –like right now- I could hit him in the head with my chemistry book and not regret it one bid. But since I am very curious I open my closet and take out my red dress that I had only wore once, at a New Year's party last year, and a black cardigan over it. Then I put my hair up in a big bun and put some mascara on my lashes –that is really the only thing I know how to do when it comes to make-up-. I take a quick look at myself in the mirror before I leave the room. The red dress falls very well down my hips and illustrates my hips that I usually hide. When I open the door Jace has a bouquet of flowers in his hand and only now I notice that he had been wearing a brown suit. The suit really goes well with his deep green eyes. His eyes light up when he sees me and roll down my body and back up to my eyes.

"You are so beautiful" he says and hands me the flowers. I take them hesitantly, still not sure of where we are going and what is going on. Then Jace takes up a blindfolder from his pocket and asks my permission before putting it on. About fifteen minutes later after walking up endless stairs and hallways we stop and he takes of the blindfold. We are standing in front of an old antique wood door, not like the ones in the dorms. "We are in the old building of the school, it used to be a beautiful building once, a some kind of sanctuary. This room is the one thing that has been kept the way it was when the annex was build and the whole building renovated" he explains to me as he takes the doorknob. He smiles as he opens the door revealing what´s inside.

A beautiful garden with various types of plants and trees is what faces me first when I walk in and then as I walk inner I suddenly spot Simon hanging up a balloon next to a hundred of balloons. And then I see Isabelle lighting candles and Alec hanging up some lights. Jace coughs a little from behind me and as he does so they all stop what they're doing as they figure out I'm here.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Simon yells and runs towards me. As he starts to hug me Isabelle joins in and the both wish me happy birthday again.

"I am so sorry I haven´t talked to you much the past days, I really was sick but then the past couple of days we've been here decorating and making sure everything is in check for your birthday" Simon explains as he points out the balloons and the candles and the food on the big wooden table under the lights that Alec had hung up.

"And we were out of town the first few days after the club and then when we got back we were also here planning and making decorating. We were not trying not to talk to you, I guess we just forgot about it in all the preparations. I am so sorry Clary" Isabelle says with little sobs.

"Please don´t be. Let's not be sad" I say and give her a hug. Then Isabelle and Simon lead me towards the big table and show me to my seat where awaits for me a big pink present –probably packed in by Mrs. Isabelle' and then they all take a seat, Jace sitting next to me of course.

"We cooked you dinner, or Alec did since NO ONE trusts me to cook. We did not really know your favorite food so Alec went on your Instagram and found out that you have posted _a lot_ of pictures of spaghetti Bolognese so that is what we cooked for you" Isabelle explains while she serves me the spaghetti.

"Oh you guys, I really thought that you didn't anymore want to talk to me or hang out with me but now that I know all this… It melts my heart. You are the best friends anyone can have, even you Alec" I say and smile towards Alec, and he returns it with a little smile –which is very rare, considering that his is Alec we´re talking about-. After the meal they insist I open the present and so I do. It reveals a new set of pyjamas, colouring set and a new sketch book –which is very convenient considering the other one is almost finished-.

"This is the best gift I have ever gotten you guys! I love you all so much!" I say clouded with happiness and stand up to hug them all.

"We bought the pyjama set today after we heard the rumours, now you can wear this tomorrow if you feel like it" Simon says with sarcasm as I hug him for the presents.

"Ha ha ha very funny" I say and punch him lightly in the shoulder.

"Clary, could you come with me for one second?" Jace says all out of sudden and smiles.

"Uh, yeah of course no problem" I answer and walk towards him. He takes my hand and starts leading me towards the balcony doors of the big garden-room.

"We're going downstairs with the dishes to clean up, see ya later!" I hear Isabelle say from behind us.

Jace opens the doors and leads me outside. "I hope you don´t mind but I led you here so we could have some alone time" he says as he lets go of me and turns on some music on the stereo that is placed on the outdoor table. Then he bows and reaches out his hand, asking me to dance.

"Jace, I am not going to dance with you unless you tell me the answer to my question that I asked you earlier. Could you just please help me understand what is going on?" I say with a bit of frustration. Jace then just smiles again and draws me in his arms, takes out my left hand and starts slow-dancing with me. Suddenly I feel a sigh in my ear, "Clarissa, I do not want to be only friends with you, I want to be with you…" he whispers into my ear. Moments later he stops and steps a little away from me.

"I love you Clarissa, since the moment I saw you, you touched something in my heart where it has not been touched before" he pauses and draws me back into his grip. "I want to kiss you and hold you and never let you go".

I can't believe my ears, I now have finally the answer in my hands. What do I say? What do _I_ feel?

"Why do I sense _a but_ in your words?" I ask him and step a little away from him.

"It is just that it is not good for you to be with me, it is dangerous" he says the last part in low voice and it sparks my interest.

"Dangerous?" I ask in curiosity.

"I just think that maybe it is not a good idea that we'd be together" he explains and turns his gaze to the ground.

"Jace Herondale. You can't just says stuff like that and then say that you do not want to be with me. What about what I feel?" I say a little bit angered by his comments.

"What do you feel Clarissa?" he asks and turns his gaze back on my eyes.

"I...I think I might love you too. But I am not going to give in to my emotions if you are just going to leave me thinking that we should not be together" I pause taking a deep breath, Jace watching me with a big question mark on his face.

"No, I don't think I love you. I _know_ I love you and I want to be with your Jace, I really do and…" and then before I can finish my sentence Jace suddenly cups my face with his hands, draws my face towards him and kisses me. Let it be stated that this is my first kiss so it would not surprise anyone that this could be a very bad kiss. When our lips separate I still keep my eyes closes, not wanting to wake up from this dream that I am in. "I love you too Clary Farichild" he then says and strokes the back of his hands down my cheek. I open my eyes and as I do so he leans in for another kiss and so I close my eyes again. Jace moves his hands from my face down to my hips and holds them with a firm grip.

So now I know. I am his and he is mine and there is nothing that can come in between us.

* * *

 **SO, that's it for today's update. I really do hope you all liked it since it took a long time to write and edit.**

 **If you feel like it, please review it so I can fix things that need to be fixed. Also if you just want to talk to me you can just send me PM and I will answer :)**

 **Have a nice day/night (it's actually 02:38 am so I am going to sleep right now).**

 **XOXO,**


	8. Chapter 8

_**CHAPTER EIGHT - THE BOY**_

 _ **London, UK**_

"There are some change of plans" he says as he sits down in the armchair.

"You have not yet found her?" the boy says through the phone, hesitant.

"No, she is untraceable. My men have been looking all over London, yet she is still nowhere to be found. I am starting to doubt if she is even here" the man says with irritation.

"Perhaps she has gone to Idris? You know we cannot trace her there"

"Yes, I know". The man scratches his chin as he thinks. "Since Jocelyn will not come out to the surface and face me, we will have to force her". The boy does not answer, he knows what to do.

"I will not fail you" the boy says determined.

* * *

 _Jace's POV_

I look at her and I can see that she is moving her mouth but I don´t hear what's coming out of it. The only thing I can focus on is her eyes and the way that dress falls so perfectly down her body. "No I don't think I love you. I know I love you and I want to be with you Jace, I really do and…" I didn't really think about what I did. I just cupped her cheeks with my palms and drew her in close and kissed her, just like that!. When I drew back from her I looked at her and I felt that I needed her lips back at mine so I kissed her again. I've never had this feeling in my stomach before, like there are some butterflies flying inside of me trying to get out. I just want her, only her and I love her. I draw back and let her breathe and talk, maybe she has something to say. She senses my questioning stare so she sighs (positively) and smiles.

"Oh dear Jace. It is no question now that I love you, I really do" she says and lets out a little nervous laugh.

I smile back at her and stroke her cheek. "She is so perfect" I think to myself but then regret not saying it aloud. After a little while we start walking silently back inside and towards the dormitory. When we get to her room we stop and look at each other, I know what she may be thinking but I respect her too much to do it right now. I kiss her forehead and bid her goodnight and then I walk away towards my room.

"You two sure took your time" Alec says when I enter our room. He´s lying in his bed reading a book.

"Yeah…" I pause and take a deep breathe, "I kissed her" I say and smile. I can see Alec's face and I can tell he is not happy about it.

I know Alec's feelings towards me, we have talked about it and he knows that I want nothing more from him than our friendship but I think he doesn't want to give up on us.

"So, you love her?" Alec says with restraint not willing to talk about this subject.

"Yes, I believe so" I say and let out another smile just thinking about Clary and the way she laughs and the way her hips move when she walks and the way her hair always falls so perfectly down her shoulders and her back. I sigh by that thought. Alec then falls into silence and bids me goodnight. That night all I could think and dream about was Clary and that kiss.

* * *

 _ **About 1 week later, Friday**_

 _Clary's POV_

Only a week ago I had my first kiss. It is still fresh in my memory and every time I get, I close my eyes just to rewind back to that Thursday night. I can still feel his lips on mine, and I keep getting a reminder of how they feel like when we kiss. I feel like my whole life has changed, just in one week:

1\. I've got a boyfriend

2\. Alec's been awfully nice to me

3\. I feel so much closer to them all (ever since I learned the truth behind their absence those few days after that party in Pandemonium)

4\. Simon and Isabelle are dating and it is SO CUTE

I noticed it those first days after my birthday that they were always whispering in each other's ears and entwining each other's pinky fingers when no one was looking (except me!). They know I know, but still they won't admit that they are dating, or whatever they are. Alec's also been very protective over Isabelle, so whenever the two of them are sitting next to each other, holding hands (or well, fingers) he watches over them or even sits down between them to join in on the conversation. It's Friday so that means only school till 2. As I enter my last class, chemistry I notice that the teacher had written something on the chalk board "I went home sick, see you next week". No class? I decide to go to the 'chill room' and draw something since it's been a while since I've had the chance. When I enter I notice that nobody's in the room, perhaps everybody's still in class. I take a seat in the sofa that is in front of the TV and take out my sketch book. Oh, how I had missed drawing.

* * *

 _Jon's POV_

I watch as she walks out of the classroom, good thing she came early so she would be the only one to see the writing on the chalkboard. After she walks away I go into the classroom and wipe what I had written away. I hear somebody enter the room, it's the chemistry teacher mrs. Harlow

"Jon, what are you doing here? I am not in the wrong classroom am I?"

She puts her bag on the desk and sits down behind it.

"No miss, I just wanted to tell you that I will not be attending classes next week" I say and try my best to act sad about it.

"Oh? Why is that?" she asks and crosses her hands on her chest.

"I am going on vacation with my family" I say and can't help but smile at the thought.

"Oh, well alright then. Just remember to read through chapter eight to twelve in the chemistry book, we will have a test on it in 2 weeks. Have a great time" she says and I believe she actually means it.

I walk in the direction I saw Clary go, towards the nerd room I guess. As I enter I notice that no one is in here except for one feisty red-haired girl sitting in the sofa. She hasn't yet noticed me even as I close the door behind me, she is too focused on her sketches. I stand still for a second watching her, not in a sexual way, more like surveying her; her breath, her hair, the way she tilts her head as she draws something in her sketch book. I tilt my head like her but I can't figure out why so I shake my head and walk towards her.

* * *

 _Clary's POV_

Suddenly, I feel a hand in my shoulder from behind me. I startle and the hand draws back to it's owner.

"Sorry, I did not mean to startle you" Jon says from behind me as he walks around the sofa towards me.

"Oh, Hi Jon, I didn't hear you come in" I explain as he sits down next to me. I close my sketchbook and put it back in my bag. I haven't seen Jon in a long while now, not since before my birthday. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in a while now" I ask as I cross my legs and lean back in the sofa.

"Just studying and studying" he answers. We sit in silence for a bit until he breaks it, "I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight?" he asks excitingly and I can see he lets out a tiny smile. Does he like me? I ask myself as he waits eagerly for my response.

"Sorry Jon, I'm going to Pandemonium with Jace, Isabel and Simon tonight. Maybe tomorrow?" I ask him and try to sound polite (since I'm kind refusing him). Suddenly, the smile on his face disappears and turns into a frown.

"What are you doing with Jace?" he spits out. He doesn't know?

"Jon, we're kinda dating" I tell him, and try to be gentle. Jon looks me straight in the eyes and as I look at him closer, I can see that the "nice boy" is nowhere to be found. Suddenly, he stands up from the sofa and walks out. I try calling at him but he won't listen. What is going on? I think to myself as I take my stuff and start walking towards him. When I go out to the hallway, Jon is nowhere to be seen.

* * *

 **So that's FINALLY it!**

 **I know this chapter is not perhaps my best one... but chapter 9 is going to be very exciting, thrilling and... (I don't want to say no more!) Thanks guys for all the wait for this chapter, I hope you liked it!**

 **If you want, leave a review or a question (I always answer) and thank you guys again for all your support 3**

 **xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**My god, this chapter had taken me a couple of months to write and I finally finished it! This is by far the longest chapter I have ever written so I really hope you like it xx**

* * *

 **CHAPTER NINE**

 _Later that day…_

As I sit behind my dressing table, getting ready for tonight. I try sending another text to Jon, but he doesn´t seem to have his phone on him since he is not responding my texts. "Have you heard from Jace or the boys? Do you know when they want to leave to Pandemonium?" Isabel asks halfway through putting her dress on. "Why don't you ask Simon? You two seem to be a lot closer then us" I blurt, but regret it instantly. I notice Isabel is startled so I apologize. "Sorry, it has just not been a very good day" I explain as I finish putting on my mascara. "It's OK. I'll just send a text to Simon" she says understandingly and smiles to me. Only seconds later I hear a knock on the door and Jace comes in holding his hand over his eyes.

"You guys are not naked are you?" he says with a grin.

"No Jace" Isabel says from behind me and finishes with a big sigh.

Jace takes his hands away from his eyes and I can see his eyes falling on me. He looks at me stunningly. "Guess it's the dress" I say out loud. It's the dress that I bought myself earlier this week, and finally I can wear something that is definitely my style. It's a black halter dress that reaches just above the knees. I bought it because it was like a black version of Marilyn Monroe's most famous dress.

"Please don't drool on the floor" Isabel says ironically.

"I think you have never been more beautiful!" Jace says, ignoring Isabel and gazes his eyes up my body from my toes to my head.

I can feel my cheeks warm up and I can´t help but let a little smile out. After a short while gazing into each other's eyes Isabel hands me my coat and purse as she grabs hers.

"Alright, ready to go?" she asks us.

"Yeah, Simon and Alec are just waiting in the lobby with a taxi. That´s why I came, to get you guys" Jace explains and smiles one of his innocent and sweet smiles.

"Well then, let's go party!" Isabelle says and takes a little twirl on her way out the door.

There is a special event at Pandemonium this night, a black and white party. Almost every guy is wearing a black tux with a white tie or black pants and a fancy white t-shirt. Girls are wearing white or black occasionwear. Isabelle is wearing a white, short like always, bodycon dress with black lipstick. The white dress contrasts well with her white skin and black hair, she looks beautiful. I can see Simon's gaze upon her as she orders some drinks for us.

"Please stop looking at my sister like that, it's annoying and uncomfortable" Alec says from beside me.

Simon then get's very awkward and I believe he does not know how to answer that. But fortunate for him, Jace comes to his aid.

"Come on Alec, you don't have to be so grumpy" Jace says to try to lighten his mood.

"What am I supposed to do? She is my sister and he is just a mundane" Alec says and suddenly gets a little awkward himself.

"A mundane, that's a weird word" Simon says but is interrupted as Isabelle brings our drinks.

"Tequila shots for us all, on me!" she says and lifts her glass up in the air.

"Cheers" I say and follow her. Then we all toast and finish our shots.

"Hey Alec, I see a certain someone looking at you, checking you out" Isabelle suddenly says beside Alec. Alec follows Isabelle's glance towards the bar, as do we all in curiosity. A dark-haired stranger stands beside the bar drinking what seems to be rum in an old fashioned way.

"You know that guy?" I ask curiously as I catch a glimpse of a smile from Alec's mouth.

"Just a little" he answers without breaking the stare between them two.

"His name is Magnus Bane. He's a, um, an old acquaintance of ours" Jace explains from beside me.

"Come on Alec, go talk to him" Isabelle says as she pushes her brother towards the man on the bar.

"Fine, just don't have too much fun without me" he then says and starts walking towards Magnus.

We stand in silence as we watch Alec talk to that Magnus guy for a moment.

"I don't know about you two, but I am taking Simon for a dance, okay?" Isabelle says suddenly. She takes Simon's arm and drags him towards the dance floor. I can sense Simon's awkwardness as Isabelle tries to make him dance. Simon told me not long ago that he was a skilled dancer but that he was just too awkward to dance in front of others, that is why he had to quit dancing.

"Clarissa Fairchild, would you do me the honours of dancing with me?" Jace says and takes a little courtesy bow. I let out a little laugh.

"You know that you said the exact same thing the last time we were here?" I tell him.

"I know. The last time we were here, it did not work out as nicely as it should, so I thought that we could have a rematch" he says and blinks me.

"Well, in that case I would very much like to dance with you Jace Wayland" I tell him and follow him towards the dance floor.

* * *

Jace's POV

I take a hold of her hand and lead her to the same spot as last time, under the disco ball. The last time we were here has been playing in my memory on repeat like the kiss. The reason for that is that she has never been as close to me as she was when we slow-danced the last time we were here. Since it is a sort of Black&White ball/party, the music is slower than usual, which I can use in my advantage. As we stop under the disco ball I reach for her hips and draw her closer to me, as I do so she throws her hands around my neck drawing our faces near each other. We are so close that I can hear her heartbeat beating in a fast rhythm under her chest. Her mesmerizing eyes look up to mine as we slowly dance to the music that is being played for us. A couple of songs go by without us noticing how fast the time flies when we are just dancing and looking in each other's eyes.

"May I steal another kiss from you Clarissa?" I ask with a little despair as I watch her lips so close from mine.

She doesn't answer, instead she nods her head and closes her hands on my neck as she reaches for my lips. I don't hold back as I firm my grip on her hips and push her harder against me as we engage in a kiss. Oh, the sweet taste of her tongue. I just can not get enough of her. Before I know it the music is getting more sexier and slower and suddenly I feel my hand has slipped down to her butt. Her round butt feels nice and soft to the touch. I try to grab it a little to see her reaction, but she doesn't flinch so I grab a little harder. Clary takes a deep breath and parts our mouths. She looks a little embarrassed as her hands slide from my neck.

"I'm sorry, was that too much?" I ask her apologetic as I cup her face trying to get her eyes to meet mine.

"No, no. It's just that nobody has ever done that to me..." she lets out a little laugh, "...I am just not used to it. That's all. And maybe I would like to take things a bit slowly. I've never done anything you know, sexual, before so I just want to take it slowly" she blurts out. Her cheeks blush and I can see that familiar awkwardness in her eyes.

"Clary, we will of course never do anything you don't like, alright? We will take things very slow, okay? I promise you" I say and kiss her forehead. "I love you" I tell her and lift her face up to meet mine.

She smiles and gives me a brief kiss.

"I love you too Jace" she says and then we kiss again.

The next hour goes by like a minute. We dance and we laugh and we kiss. It's just so nice to spend time with her, even though it is in a loud club surrounded by weird people. Suddenly I spot Alec at the bar next to Magnus, kissing him. I stop dancing and try to catch Isobelle's eye contact where she and Simon are dancing a couple of meters from us. When she sees me staring at her I nod in Alec's direction and she follows my gaze curiously. When she finally spots Alec she smiles one of those big Isabelle smiles and claps her hands. She then kisses Simon deeply, I think I have never seen them kiss and I think they have neither since she takes a step back all out of sudden and they both seem a bit surprised.

"Did they just kiss?" Clary asks me as she tries to stand on her toes to look at them through the crowd.

"Yes, and I think it was their first" I tell her.

"Wow, I was wondering when they were going to finally make it official" she says and giggles.

Then, Simon suddenly takes a step towards Isabelle and kisses her firmly.

"Wow, I didn't think he had it in him. I really did not" I accidentally say out loud. To my surprise, Clary just laughs and kisses my cheek.

"Look at us all, happy and in love. Even Alec" she says jokingly. And to my surprise, I actually laugh with her. She then kisses me and I draw her in close again.

An hour later we walk up to the bar where Alec is sitting alone. He has the look of someone in love on him.

"You alright brother?" I ask him and try to get him back to the real world.

"Yes, of course" he says defensive, like always, and straightens up. "I was just thinking about a book I just read" he says excusing.

"Yeah, right. Where is Magnus?" I ask him when I can see he is nowhere to be found.

"He had to leave for some business" he tells us. Thankfully Clary can't understand the subtext of Alec's answer. A few moments later, Simon and Isabelle come walking towards us, holding hands and looking more in love then ever. I can sense Alec's questioning stare at them but I give him a death stare back so he backs out. He has to let Isabelle be happy. Alec then turns to the bartender and asks him for 5 more tequila shots for us. Then suddenly Simon's phone starts beeping. He picks it up surprised and then when he sees the screen his face turns upside down.

"Fuck, I forgot I promised to meet my mom tonight. Shoot. She has been trying to call me for the past two hours" he says and slams the palm of his hand in his face.

"Well, you can just meet her tomorrow, right?" Isabelle asks as the bartender hands her one shot.

"Oh, you don't know my mom. If I promise her something, I have to keep it otherwise she will be so pissed. Would you mind if I left now to meet her for the rest of the evening?" he asks us.

"But it's about 10pm, what could you possibly do with an older woman at that time?" Isabelle says jokingly.

"Well, I did promise her I would take her to the midnight opera. She just wanted to have dinner or drinks before. So, I really do gotta go. I am so sorry" he says apologetic.

"It's ok. Have fun" Isabelle says and kisses his cheek.

"I'll just drink your shot" Clary then says and smiles jokingly.

When Simon leaves we all take our shots (well, Clary takes hers and Simons) and we finish it at the same time. It's so funny to see everyone frown after they have taken their shot, especially Clary. The next two hours go by like seconds dancing wildly amongst the crowd. By midnight the music has turned into some house-techno combination and so we have to dance and move faster to the rhythm. Clary is, in my own eyes, a spectacular dancer and it is so fascinating watching her move her hips and the rest of her body to the rhythm.

"Where did you learn to dance like that?" I yell at her, trying to speak louder then the music.

"I used to practise modern ballet for about 3 years when I was younger" she yells back at me, twirling as she does so.

She lets out a laugh and takes my hands, trying to get me to follow up to her wonderful dance. I draw her towards me and as our mouths touch I slide my hands down to her lower back trying to be a bit seductive. A couple minutes later I hear a strange sound from the back of the building. Since Clary's head is rested upon my shoulder, I try to take a look in the direction where the sound came from without Clary's notice. A dark and strange creature catches my attention as it crawls along the walls towards the back door. It seems to be following a person, a young girl exiting the nightclub through the back door. I try to catch Alec's gaze as he dances with Isabelle. Once he catches my gaze and trails it towards the dark creature he whispers something to Isabelle. Alec then walks towards the creature while Isabelle walks up to us.

"Everything alright Jace?" Clary says, sensing my stiffness and uneasiness.

"Yes, there just seems to be some problem with, uh, Alec. Me and Isabelle need to check up on him. We'll just be a few minutes, just wait at the bar" I tell her, trying to sound convincing.

"Yes, okay. I'll just wait at the bar. Will you tell me what's wrong with him once you come back?" she asks me, unsure whether to let me go or not.

"Of course, it probably just has something to do with Magnus" I say convincingly as I kiss her forehead and follow Isabelle towards the creature that is stepping through the back door.

* * *

Clary's POV

"Why do I get the feeling that this has happened before. No, this is not like the last time" I say to myself as I walk up to the bar. I follow Isabelle and Jace with my eyes as they run towards the back door in a hurry. It must be something serious.

"Would you like anything, miss?" I hear from behind the bar.

I turn around towards the bartender.

"Um, I don't know" I tell him honestly.

"Just let me know if you need anything" he says and then he disappears to the next customer.

* * *

JACE'S POV

When we finally reach the door, after we had to push our way through the crowd, and walk out we see Alec behind a trash can, hiding. We run up to him.

"Where is it?" Isabelle asks him.

"It was just right over there a minute ago, I just did not want to jump onto it before you guys came. It is following a girl, I think they went around that corner. A second later a woman's scream echoes from around the corner. We all look at each other and start running towards the scream. When we run around the corner we see the young woman lying on the ground trying to shield herself with her purse. The monster has it's back turned towards us so it can't see us coming from behind it. As we reach it, the monster turns around, it's slimy, long, scaled black body is dripping in ichor and so are it's multiple legs and claws. It is a Ravener.

"Now, what is a ravener doing all by itself chasing after a young woman in the middle of the night?" Alec asks as we walk around the creature, trying to tell what we are up against.

"Kill, kill" the Ravener mutters in between it's sharp teeth.

"Yes, yes we know all about that" I says as Alec strikes at the Ravener's legs trying to make it fall.

As we distract the Ravener trying to make it attack us, Isabelle helps the woman get up on her feet. The woman is in so much shock that she is very stiff as Isabelle tries to move her and get her away from here. When the woman and Isabelle are out of sight we stop the foolishness, now it is time to fight hard, this demon is no child's play.

* * *

Clary's POV

It's been about 20 minutes or so since Jace and Isabelle went after Alec. I am getting more annoyed by every minute that passes. I have also started to feel the alcohol more and more in my body since I am not dancing or having fun anymore, so you could say I am pretty drunk by now.

"You sure you don't want anything?" the bartender says behind the bar.

He is just cleaning glasses now, all the customers have gone to the dance floor and almost half of the crowd that was here earlier have left, as I can see now when I look over the dance floor. I think for a little bit before I answer him. "Maybe Jace has left me again, maybe he doesn't want to be with me" I hear a voice familiar to mine say to me in my head. Maybe the voice is right.

"Give me a shot of the strongest thing you have, I will need some courage" I say to the bartender who looks at me in surprise before he starts to pour the shots. I have decided to go outside and try to find them, maybe they lied to me and maybe not but I will find it out for myself.

"Here you go, and some lemon for you to bite in" the bartender says with a little doubt and a smile as he gives me a shot of some very strong liquor. I just return the smile and take the shot hurriedly and bite the lemon afterwards to try to get rid of the foul taste of the shot. Then I grab my bag and walk towards the back door. I am seriously hoping that what Jace told me is true, because I can not stand any more lies from him or anyone else for that matter.

* * *

Jace's POV

The Ravener seems to be trying to attack me solely since he doesn't even turn his head towards Alec when he attacks him. As the Ravener crawles closer and closer towards me I try to find a weak spot on his body that I can attack. It's tail goes up in the air, waiting for the right moment to strike in my chest.

"Alec, cut of it's tail!" I yell at Alec since I cannot reach the Ravener's tail myself. Alec nods his head and walks slowly towards it. I try to remain my eye contact with the demon's eyes so Alec can walk up to it unnoticed. A couple of seconds later Alec slides under the Ravener and drives his seraph blade through the Demon's heart. He then rolls away from it as the demon falls to the ground.

"Hey, I could just handle the demon you know? I just asked you to cut off it's tail so it wouldn't kill me just yet" I say in frustration to Alec as he wipes his blade clear of the demon's blood and ichor.

"You guys finished it?" Isabelle says as she walks up tp us.

"Well, Alec did" I say to my frustration.

"Good, you can have the next one Jace. Are you guys both alright? No wounds?" she then asks us.

"Just one scratch on my shoulder after I tried to jump on the Ravener" I say as I get my stele out of my pocket.

"It is too strange for a Ravener to be by itself, they usually hunt in packs. The only time when they are alone is when someone has called upon them and handed them a job to assassinate someone. We will have to look into this" Alec says thoughtfully.

As I draw the iratze rune on my upper arm I hear a gasp from behind us. I look up to Isabelle who looks in horror at someone behind me. As I turn around I see why.

"Clary?" I let out as she takes a step back. She looks at us and the Ravener back and forth trying to put her mind to what had just occurred. I put my stele away and take a few steps towards her.

"Stop" she says frighteningly. "Don't take a step closer to me"

"Clary, you can see the... that thing?" I ask her in surprise

"Why wouldn't I be able to see that Thing, whatever it is" she spits out.

"A demon, it is a demon" I say explaining. I watch in surprise as she looks at the Ravener. Mundanes should not be able to see them, the young woman could only see it because the Ravener revealed itself to her but as it dies, it goes back to being invisible to mundanes.

"Calm down Clary, please" I say to her calmly and take a few more steps towards her.

"Calm down! No, I am not going to calm down! You just killed a something, demon or whatever and then you used that lightning stick and healed yourself. What the hell is going on? Who are you?" she says angry and confused.

When I am about to answer her, Alec steps in.

"I am sorry Clary, but I can't tell you that. At least not until we know what YOU are" he says from behind me.

Clary seems taken aback by that. "What I am? I do not understand. I don't understand what is going on, I don't understand what you or that things is and I certainly don't understand why I ever trusted you, all of you" she says angry and then she starts walking away.

* * *

Clary's POV

I can't get my head to think straight, it is spinning with questions, lies, angry thoughts and liquor. I try my best to walk as fast as I can away from them, I have even started to run. Suddenly I feel someone grab my arm and spin my towards them.

"Please Clary, don't leave!" Jace says almost crying.

"Don't touch me, I don't know who you are anymore" I say. Suddenly I feel that my face is very wet from tears, I don't know how long I have been crying but it does not feel good.

"Please Clary, I will explain everything to you I promise. I don't care what Alec says. You can ask me anything, I promise" he says trying to get a hold of my hand, but I don't let him.

"First of all, I don't want your promises, you just keep lying and lying to me. I don't even know what is true or false" I say and wipe away some tears from my cheek with my hand.

"Please, ask me anything. I will answer all your questions" he says intensive.

"Who are you, what are you?" is the first question that pops up in my head.

Jace takes a deep breath. "We are what they call Shadowhunter, the right term would be Nephilim. We are neither human nor supernatural. We are humans born with angel blood which we use to defend and protect humans from demons and supernatural being gone rogue. We can also draw these runes on us that protect us from many things" he says as he rolls up his sleeves and shows me his runes.

"You also have these tatts? I have seen them on Isabelle but I thought they were just weird tattoos" I say surprised.

"Yes, they are our runes" he says. "This is a healing rune which I used before to heal my body from any wounds like you saw and this one is a- "

"A healing rune? To heal you? I just don't understand any of this. It doesn't make any sense. Sorry, I can't do his. Not now" I say as my head is going to explode if he says one more word. Suddenly I feel my body getting numb, the strong liquor is starting to kick in.

"Clarissa, are you alright?" Jace asks me but I can't hear him because of the throbbing pain and pressure in my head. Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me please" I ask him frustratingly and take a step back as I do so.

"Did you drink more after we left?" he asks me worryingly as I fumble trying to take a couple of steps back.

"No, yes, maybe. What does it matter to you? I am going to leave now" I tell him since all I want now is my dear bed.

"You shouldn't leave alone Clarissa" he says worryingly and tries to follow me.

"Please Jace, I am alright. I need space okay? I just need to think a little bit" I tell him, trying to sound convincing.

Finally he takes a deep breath and relaxes. "Fine, but can I please talk to you tomorrow?" he says.

"Yes" I say coldly.

"And Clarissa? I will have to ask you not to tell anyone what happened tonight, promise me that" he asks me.

I only nod my head and try to fake a smile although my mind does not want to.

Then I turn around and walk away. I can feel his sad gaze upon me so I try to walk fast. After a couple of minutes walking away from Pandemonium I am finally starting to realize the severity of what just happened. My whole relationship has been a lie, my friendship with Isabelle and even Alec has been a lie. How am I supposed to cope with what just happened. They are literally killers, demon killers or something. That is what they do for a living. I just can not believe this. Tears start to crawl again down from my eyes and cool my cheeks along the way down to my chin. I am to frozen in my thoughts to wipe my face so I just let the tears flow down my face.

Suddenly I realize that I am nowhere near the way towards the institute so I stop for a moment only to find out that my head starts to spin more when I am still. My body suddenly feels numb and cold so I try to start walking again to get the warmth in my body going again. A couple of minutes later I feel a cold hand touch my shoulder. I turn around, ready to see Jace's face but am surprised to see that it is Jon's face but not Jace's.

"Jon? What are you doing here?" I ask him. It is kinda hard for me to talk since it is very cold outside and my tears have frozen on my face, making it stiff and cold.

"I was just taking a little midnight walk when I saw you walking and crying, are you alright?" he asks me.

Every part of me wants to just cry and tell Jon everything but I can't, since I made a promise to Jace. And to me, a promise means something.

"Yes, just had a little fight with Jace, that's all" I lie.

"I am sorry to hear that. You don't look so good either" he then says worried.

"I am just a little bit drunk" I lie, again.

"You look a little bit more drunk than that. You are so pale and I can see that you are kind of dizzy. Why don't you come home with me. I can make some tea for you and get you all warmed up" he says nicely.

"Wait, you have a place here in New York?" I ask him.

"Just my parent's place, they are never home so that is why I stay at the dormitory" he explains as he takes off his jackets and puts it over my shoulders.

"Oh, but I don't know. Maybe I should just go back home to the dormitory" I tell him. But then I remember that Isabelle is probably waiting for me there, and I really do not want to talk to any of them right now. "On second thought, maybe I will go with you for just a quick tea" I tell him. He seems a bit happy about my answer and calls a cab for us. I just really hope that Jon is not a person to lie and betray me, because I could really use some real friends right now.

* * *

 **So that is it! Thank you guys so much for the wait, you are my angels. I am too tired to read the chapter over and correct any spelling mistakes so I will do it tomorrow, I just could not wait to post it for you. Please leave a review if you have any questions or just if you have something to say, it really means a lot to me.**

 **Until next time...xx**


End file.
